maanantai 13. heinäkuuta 2015

Where to start....


I don't even know where to start...
I can't believe it's been two months since I've written anything over here?! Two months..ouch, I'm sorry.
Maybe I'll just start with the end of May.

I graduated!! Yey!! I have kept my mind off of things to do with school ever since. I feel so good. And very, very free. My graduation day was amazing. As soon as the graduation ceremony ended at the city theater and we were just about to leave I just started crying with relief. It had been a very tough year for me, this last one. Very tough. Most of you probably didn't even notice. I am extremely good at hiding my troubles from people. But I suck at hiding them from people that are close to me. And I'm extremely glad that I suck in that area, because my friends were the best support system I could ever have had after God of course, during this past year. Every time I needed to speak about my feelings and what I had on my heart, there was always someone that had time for me. When I needed help with school stuff- I got it. I am very blessed to be surrounded with people that care about me. I am a very deep person. I think a lot and care a lot. I worry and care a lot about other people. That might sound kind of arrogant to some of you, but really I do. My friends would say I do it a little too much, because I don't focus on myself and the things I'm going through as much as I should, when I have my mind on other people. I don't ever want to stop caring for other people or stop being the person they share their life to, but I just need more room in my head and in my heart to be able to balance God, them and me inside of me all the time. My heart breaks when someone is going through a hard time, it cries of joy when I see the change God does in them after I've been praying (and others as well of course) for them for a longer or shorter period of time. To see the fruit of your prayer is beautiful and you get to kind of share God's perspective when that happens. 

Praying is so important. Weather you pray for something for a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, is so important and to add to that, if you are patient with God, that's a big plus to all of it. It makes the fruit more juicier and the next prayer more powerful (If I can even say that. But I think that sounds pretty). These past two months I've been able to witness so much fruit from prayer!! And well, we might never see the fruit of some prayers, but that's just because the fruit may happen at a time and point when we aren't there to witness it. But it's a fact, prayer is fruitful, weather God's answer is yes, no or not yet...OR "can't you see it my dear child?" We are sometimes quite blind to the answers God has for us, because we tend to put him into a box, when he actually most of the time thinks out of the box, right?;D

Anyway back to the update on my life. So my graduation day was great!! The best part was the feeling of relief, sharing my joy and success with my family and friends and feeling free and beautiful that day. I really liked the dress I got for that day. Enjoy the next three pictures that resemble my joy. and peace.

Then let's switch to June.

The first weekend of June I spent in Tampere with Viola and Jenna. We went to a TeenStreet Service Team- Training Day and had a really nice time there with some of the other Finnish people coming to do things in the service teams at TeenStreet this year. It totally brought back some nice TeenStreet- type vibes. and got us all quite excited. (Can't wait to get there in 13 days!! I'll be in the Kiosk- team.)

After Tampere, we had a few weeks full of friends, worship, prayer, deep conversations, late nights, food, photography and so much more. We had a nice midsummer at the Pentecostal Midsummer Conference in Keuruu and at Leo's cottage (MANSION) in Petäjävesi with good friends and lots of fun. Of course the weather was a minus at times, but the official midsummer night was BEAUTIFUL. Look! (no filter)

After celebrating Midsummer, I went to Junnudynis (a christian camp for children) for 6 days to be a coach for a group of kids. Gorgeous young girls with beautiful hearts. I first had 8 girls in my group, plus my assistant coach, but because things were going so well in our group we got one more girl from another group to join ours and she fit in perfectly! Such a blessed time with interesting deep conversations with the girls. It's always good to know what the younger generation is going through and what kinds of things they are thinking about and wondering about. God gave me so much wisdom to answer their questions and to lead the group, that I was very surprised how it was even possible for things to work out as well as they did. I seemed to have some kind of authority, or at least the girls respected me and didn't want to be hard on me, so that was really interesting to see and it made me so happy and I just adore those girls!! Praying with them and talking with them, oh it's the best! Seeing children worship, pray, dance and listen to the different messages shared at the camp on God's word- it melts my heart every time. I know God's heart bursts with joy when he sees that and it gets me all excited:D Already praying for the next Junnudynis and for many more children to sign up for it. Children living for God is the army of love rising up.

So Junnudynis was beautiful.
After that I was home for almost a week and then we went to Seinäjoki to attend the Freechurch Summer Conference for the whole weekend. It was great!! I went there with no expectations at all and God totally gave me a lot! Friday was nice and chill and it was nice to see friends again and share worship with them (because we came late to the evening service...we missed most of the message and so it really ended up being a worship service for us. But I didn't mind. Worshiping our wonderful God is always nice!). Saturday, haha God sure made that day interesting!
I was sleeping at a school with my friends Viola and Fanni and in the morning before the first service we went to the store to buy something nice to eat because it was really hot outside and we talked about getting ice cream and ended up doing that. As we were leaving the store a man (that had also been in the store at the same time as us) stopped us and asked us if we were Christians ("Ootteko te hihhuleita?) He used a Finnish, kind of mocking- type word for " Christians", but it wasn't offending for us, because we just answered positively and told him that we are exactly what he had just stated. And that lead us to a nice, almost 2 hour long conversation about faith, God, our beliefs, his beliefs, our lives, his life and we got the chance to pray for him and encourage him and he told us that our conversation really made him change his mind about Christians- in a very good way(!!!) And he felt more open to it and was very curious. He was a talker alright and it was very nice that he asked so many questions and shared his own opinions and yet respected everything we shared and he told us that it was strange to see such young people that spoke so wisely and meeting us really did change his mind about some things and he really made it clear that the conversation had been fruitful. I definitely know for sure that God gave us wisdom to talk with him and a lot of patience and understanding. It's great to see how God truly does make the weak strong in Him and how he is so close in moments like these. We didn't pressure him to do anything and it was all out of love for a fellow person, also created uniquely by God, just like us.
After spending all that time with the man, Viola and I said goodbye to him and he went on his way and we went to the service that was almost over. And the end of the message, that we were able to hear, really spoke to us about the man we had just interacted with and reassured us that God is the one that works, he does the changing in people, we don't. We are a major help though of course:D But it really is cool to know that it's all in God's hands and in the man's choices. I just hope he makes the right ones. For his sake. And I had a very exciting joy inside of me for the rest of the service and morning. It kind of felt like I was sharing God's joy. Got a little taste of Heavenly happiness.
In the evening during the next service I got kind of emotional about some things I felt in prayer, but especially when a girl sitting behind me shared some things she felt were directed to me from God. So got kind of overwhelmed and I couldn't help but to cry. And then Nelli, my sister prayed for me and I was able to calm down and feel more at peace inside. I always feel super awkward after crying in public like that, because I know the people around me have seen it happen and are all wondering of course why and they don't really ask about it, they just stare :D It's a weird feeling. But it's normal.
I enjoyed being with my friends that evening and night and also the next day.
Then on Sunday afternoon Viola, Nelli and I headed to our grandparent's house to stay there until Tuesday with our parents. It seems like our family has adopted Viola hahahah, but it's been awesome. She's great!

After being at our grandparent's house we were in Jyväskylä for a few days and then we went to the next Christian conference we have called New Wine. We were there at a beautiful cottage with good friends and went to the free evening services offered to us, because I for example, really need to save money. (DTS calling!) Every single service we went to was amazing!! I don't understand how I can just keep learning new things from God and about God. About myself as well... Worshiping and praying was as good and beautiful as always! I was able to pray for quite a few friends and had some really good conversations and it was all so nice!! On Friday evening I had a really emotional experience. It felt like I was sharing God's perspective for a few minutes. Him crying with Joy and love for all of his children in that arena and seeing them call out to Him and approach Him. I really did cry myself as well .And it really did feel like I was seeing it all through God's eyes. IT WAS UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL. He really cries of joy for us all. So I felt like sharing that with everyone in the arena, so I built up my courage and went on stage to share what I just told you and of course I had a whimpering voice on stage and probably sounded really weird, but I knew God wanted me to do that, so there you go. haha! But it was a very blessed evening and I know God really worked in so many people, especially that night. Yey!!
On Saturday things were quite like Friday, but with less emotion from my part than the previous evening. After the service there was the technoworship- party and oh that was a blast!!! Here's a video:

And then after that, we had a nice chill evening with friends at our cabin and I had a really nice conversation with one of my them, Petteri, and a very interesting night after they all left, because we were woken up by a group of young men that wanted us to join their party at their cottage for questionable reasons. We slept like 4 hours because of that moment there in the middle of the night, but then the next day we woke up early, packed, cleaned and left for Jyväskylä.

As I got back home (for a change) I ate dinner, relaxed for a bit and then spent some hours with Milla having nostalgic moments with old pictures and videos of previous TeenStreets and travels abroad and our confirmation camp, while eating chips, daim- candy and ice cream. Good times, good vibes and the best of the best, my sister from another mother<3

After that Milla took me over to Leo's apartment, where Nelli and Emppu were already and we watched one of the Harry Potter- movies (we have had this marathon thing going on lately and I'm seeing the Harry Potter- movies for the first time in my life). It's been good so far.

-(my wrist is cramping or something)-

Yesterday was Monday and I spent the day grocery shopping with my Mom, eating dinner, going to a TeenStreet Info- gathering (I shared about my TeenStreet experiences, prayed together with others for the upcoming camp in Germany, had some good chats and got a bit more hyped about TeenStreet as well;D), having a one on one with my friend Manna and then hanging out with Leo until like 1am, until he brought me home to let me take a nap and eat before I go on a photoshoot session with my friend Latisha at 3.30 am (sunrise + fog = uh lalah!) BUT, of course I end up doing this. Writing down my past two months for you all to read and either be interested in or totally bored with.

Well I hope me sharing all of this really does encourage you in some way and maybe it might even excite you to check out some new stuff, like these different events I've been talking about, or my faith, or my friends instagram pages (@violamaria, @nadyewest, @emiliadelarosa, @petterii8, @manskuu, @amielatisha, @millajuliah, @leomecklin) -people I mentioned in this post.

Have a great rest of the summer !! I want to write more often now, but we'll see how I succeed in that. I really love to write and obviously I have a lot to share and say and I'm never short of words. So let's see. Toodles!!<3 Oh and God bless! xoxo


-(Ei suomennosta. Ainakaan vielä. Valitan<3)-